Make new friends, but make them the right ones for you!
Making friends can be harder for some then others due to shyness, our routines, or the trap of our comfort zones. Whether or not you have some true friends, you can always have more. The catch is that you want to attract and make the right kind of friends for you! Take a few minutes to do research on some unique things to do in your area. Things that you think that you are the only person interested in. Then make plans to attend at least six of these events within the next 30 days. Be it an amateur archaeology dig, a photo tour of a certain place, a re-enactment event, serving as a volunteer tour guide, or any other event that puts you amongst people that have the same interests as you, make it a priority to attend and introduce yourself to at least 5 people. Engage them in conversation about whatever event or place you are at. Don’t settle for small talk. Ask them engaging questions like
“What was it that inspired you to come here today?”
“What is your spurred your interest in participating this event?”
“How did you become interested in this type of thing?”
Listen to them more than you talk and when you talk, engage them in conversation about their personal interests and thoughts. Try to avoid being confrontational in favor of being more reflective. If you hit it off with them and vice-versa, exchange email addresses or phone numbers before you lose track of each other and then follow up with them within a few days of the event. One word of caution though, if you are married or serious relationship, avoid pursuing a closer relationship with anyone where there could be any potentially physical or romantic attraction towards them…or them to you. We are trying to make friends, not problems, focus on the goal!
Also, when you are choosing who you would like to pursue a friendship with ask yourself, “How can a friendship with this person benefit the both of us”? It has to be a win/win, not one-sided. Both you and the other person that you are wanting to bring into your social circle needs a return on the investment of effort and time that you both will have to put into that potential relationship to make it a healthy, beneficial and lasting one.
Another thing to do is surround yourself with the type of people that you desire to be like. Some questions that you should ask yourself prior to engaging with them is:
Are they happy?
Are they successful?
Are they enjoying the quality of life that you wish to have?
Do they treat others and you with respect and dignity?
As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Take this to heart because you can’t spend time and energy with those who do not have similar goals and aspirations. It is a losing venture that one or both of you will soon lose interest in, resulting in wasted time and energy. Also, remember that you can’t expect to get advice on how to succeed in life from people who have potential but never do anything with it. People who espouse negativity can only offer you advice on how to be negative and live in a negative way. People who are innately positive can only offer you guidance on how to be positive and how to achieve positivity in your life. Successful people…etc. You get the picture. Decide what it is that you want out of life. Then, surround yourself with only that type of people. Before you know it, as if by shear osmosis, you will become a product of your environment.
I hope that these five ways to get out of a rut helps you, in whatever challenging situation you are in. Remember to focus, stay determined, and keep your eye on the fast lane to happiness in your life.