I Thrive Here

Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.~Harriet Beecher Stowe

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Getting A Late Start This Year? Here Are The Top 5 Things You Can Do To Make 2018 YOUR YEAR And Finish Strong!

Wow! It is hard to believe that we are already three and a half months into 2018. Are you wondering how the time has passed so quickly? How far are you into accomplishing your goals for this year? Have you even started working on them? Before you rush off into a panic of trying to catch up on the things you wanted to get done this year, think about this. Have you clearly defined them? Have you set measurable steps to reach your goals and have you set defined deadlines for getting them done? Well, if you are in a bit of a rush now, I would believe that you haven’t and let me be the first to tell you, you are not alone. In fact, the majority of people do not have defined and detailed goals much less having them written them out. Instead most people have somewhat vague and general ideas of the things they want to do in life, their careers, and/or businesses. While some people can “get lucky” and experience a moderate level of success, most do not.

Without having a vivid and detailed plan it can be hard to stay motivated and focused on achieving your goals. It can be a bit like trying to hit a moving target in the dark. Your chance of hitting the mark is not good. But do not fear, because even though you may be starting late, if you know what to do and how to do it you can finish strong and enjoy many amazing accomplishments this year. So how do you do it? Here are 5 things you can do to make a real difference in this year over the last one.

 

I.  Take the time to visualize, to meditate, and to affirm what is important to you WITH FEELING! – You have to be clear on what you are trying to do. You need details and clarity when it comes to your goals. Generalizations do not provoke the emotion and feeling that makes up strong beliefs when it comes to your dreams of what is to be in your life. If your goal is to help others, you must be able to see in your mind the results of your efforts. You must see the smiling faces of those you wish to help. You must feel the warmth that comes from the gratitude of those you have assisted.

If it is material objects that you desire such as an exotic automobile. You must imagine slipping into the driver’s seat, the feel of the steering wheel as your hands clasps around it. You must hear the roar of the engine as you glide down the road, feel the pull of the inertia on your body as you cling to the curves in the road. Feel the contour of the seat against your back and hear your favorite music blaring from the speakers as the wind is whipping through your hair.

If it is a magnificent home, you must experience it fully as you walk down its halls and through each of its rooms. You must notice the smallest details such as your personal pictures hanging on the wall and your possessions throughout its interior. Feel your bed as you sink into utter comfort the moment you lie down. Picture yourself, your friends and family as you have dinner together; socializing in the kitchen as the meal is being prepared. Seeing them around the table engaged in conversation with one another as each in turn flashes a knowing and appreciative smile to you for bringing them together on this enjoyable evening.

Meditate on these thoughts, feel the emotion of the experiences, feel the gratitude of this being yours as if it already is. Take a few moments several times a day including when you first wake up and right before you go to sleep to see these visions of your life to be. Know that it is already yours and know that you are simply waiting for the here and now to catch up with your reality as you know it. Live it, breathe it, believe it, and FEEL it, and then you will live it. Believing IS seeing.

 

II.  Write It Down – One habit of the most successful and happy people on this planet is that they write everything down they desire to do, by hand! Today, we plan our lives by using online tools such as digital calendars, task planners, mind map apps, or a variety of other digital tools. While these are great tools for keeping us on track and accountable, they lack one significant factor in helping us to achieve our goals. That is the physical impact that handwriting your goals has on your subconscious mind. By hand writing what you most desire to achieve, it is made real to your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind cannot discern what is real from what your conscious mind believes is real, whether true or not. The act of hand writing what you want in such a way that it is written as if it already exists has a powerful effect on the subconscious mind. By doing this consistently, your subconscious mind will direct you to work towards manifesting your goals into your real life. The same way it works behind the scenes to control your autonomic bodily functions and your movements to complete any variety of tasks. It will move you towards the situations and circumstances that you desire in your life.

The bottom line is this, if you want to reach your desired goals in life, you must have a map to get you from where you currently are to where you wish to be. Without having a means to view your progress, how far you have come and how far you have left to go, you will become lost upon your way and never reach your destination.

 

III.  Be Consistent – Consistency is the one thing that you must master if you wish to reach your goals in a timely fashion and be successful in your endeavors. Being consistent has the power of establishing credibility and reliability. Nothing you do will have more of an impact on those you wish to reach as being the voice that they hear, the face they see, and the person they trust on a regular basis to bring them what they want. Consistency, along with providing value, creates familiarity which, in turn, fosters trust. In, short, a person’s trust cannot be bought, it must be earned. Through your commitment to quality and consistency, you will earn the greatest asset to your success, another’s trust in you.

 

IV.  Change Your Programming/Habits – Your mind is very much like a computer but vastly faster and it has the potential of being immensely more powerful. But, as computers rely on their programing to carry out tasks, your mind relies on your own “database” of knowledge, instincts, skills, and experiences to navigate our way through your life. How well you manage your finances, career, business, personal life, relationships, and every other aspect of your life depends on your own “programming” and your habits. This very same “programming”, in turn, is responsible for how successful and happy you are in life, or not. Many times the greatest challenge that you will deal with is created by your lack of flexibility in your beliefs or your lack of perspective. Also, whether you are able to overcome these same challenges is very much dependent on the same. The problem you face is whether you are willing to allow your “programming” to be updated as needed. Habits that have developed over time, that may have worked early on in your life, does not continue to work as you are faced with changing times, situations, and opportunities.

You can only change the way you live when you open your mind to discarding habits and ways of thinking that no longer serve you in achieving your goals. Remember, all it takes is an average of 21 days to “unlearn”, or learn a habit and make a commitment to being greater than the sum of your parts.

 

V.  Invest In Yourself/Engage In Purposeful and Continuing Learning – Top performing athletes must engage in consistent & focused physical training to achieve peak performance. This is no secret, but it is what they do behind the scenes that gives them the competitive edge. Hours upon hours of grueling physical and strength training. The investment they must make in the proper food and nutritional supplements to fuel their body, and enduring the discomfort that they experience to become the best that they can be. If you want a successful, happy, and fulfilling life, it really is no different in that you have to build your “success” muscles. This also takes time, effort, money, and commitment to uncomfortable and sometimes painful change. Living the life you have lived that has brought you to where you are is not enough to get you to where you want to be. How many times have you heard someone say that they have had enough of school or college and have no desire to go back to “hitting the books”?

The fact is that if you wish to live a better, more fulfilling and successful life, you have to invest. Like your parents invested in your primary, secondary, and possibly your college education. You must realize that you must also consistently invest in yourself and your continuing education. Does this mean going back to school? Sometimes, depending on the skills that you need. But, your investment in further educating yourself in the skills and knowledge necessary to build success in life may not be in the structured courses offered in universities. But rather in the books, audio, and video content created by those who have achieved what you desire to have in your life.

Often people say that they cannot afford the cost of investing in courses, books and other content that can move them forward in life. Yet, those same people spend thousands of dollars per year on expensive clothing, entertainment, flashy automobiles, the latest “have-to-have” gadgets, extravagant homes… you get the picture. In reality if you are living the average paycheck to paycheck lifestyle you cannot afford NOT to invest in YOU.

If you truly want happiness and success in life, try not to spend any more than you have to on things that deteriorate, depreciate, and retain no value over time. Instead, choose to make a long term investment with the best potential in returns. Invest your time, your effort, and your money into the one thing that you will have for as long as you live and will never lose any value for you…Your mind, your body, and your spirit.

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Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut (Part V)

Make new friends, but make them the right ones for you!
 
Making friends can be harder for some then others due to shyness, our routines, or the trap of our comfort zones. Whether or not you have some true friends, you can always have more. The catch is that you want to attract and make the right kind of friends for you! Take a few minutes to do research on some unique things to do in your area. Things that you think that you are the only person interested in. Then make plans to attend at least six of these events within the next 30 days. Be it an amateur archaeology dig, a photo tour of a certain place, a re-enactment event, serving as a volunteer tour guide, or any other event that puts you amongst people that have the same interests as you, make it a priority to attend and introduce yourself to at least 5 people. Engage them in conversation about whatever event or place you are at. Don’t settle for small talk. Ask them engaging questions like
 
  • “What was it that inspired you to come here today?”
  • “What is your spurred your interest in participating this event?”
  • “How did you become interested in this type of thing?”
 
Listen to them more than you talk and when you talk, engage them in conversation about their personal interests and thoughts. Try to avoid being confrontational in favor of being more reflective. If you hit it off with them and vice-versa, exchange email addresses or phone numbers before you lose track of each other and then follow up with them within a few days of the event. One word of caution though, if you are married or serious relationship, avoid pursuing a closer relationship with anyone where there could be any potentially physical or romantic attraction towards them…or them to you. We are trying to make friends, not problems, focus on the goal!
 
Also, when you are choosing who you would like to pursue a friendship with ask yourself, “How can a friendship with this person benefit the both of us”? It has to be a win/win, not one-sided. Both you and the other person that you are wanting to bring into your social circle needs a return on the investment of effort and time that you both will have to put into that potential relationship to make it a healthy, beneficial and lasting one.
 
Another thing to do is surround yourself with the type of people that you desire to be like. Some questions that you should ask yourself prior to engaging with them is:
  • Are they happy?
  • Are they successful?
  • Are they enjoying the quality of life that you wish to have?
  • Do they treat others and you with respect and dignity?
 
As Jim Rohn said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Take this to heart because you can’t spend time and energy with those who do not have similar goals and aspirations. It is a losing venture that one or both of you will soon lose interest in, resulting in wasted time and energy. Also, remember that you can’t expect to get advice on how to succeed in life from people who have potential but never do anything with it. People who espouse negativity can only offer you advice on how to be negative and live in a negative way. People who are innately positive can only offer you guidance on how to be positive and how to achieve positivity in your life. Successful people…etc. You get the picture. Decide what it is that you want out of life. Then, surround yourself with only that type of people. Before you know it, as if by shear osmosis, you will become a product of your environment.
 
I hope that these five ways to get out of a rut helps you, in whatever challenging situation you are in. Remember to focus, stay determined, and keep your eye on the fast lane to happiness in your life.

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Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut (Part IV)

When was the last time you took a real vacation?
 
I’m not talking about going to the beach or going to the house of the mouse every few years. Do you have your finances in order? Do you have built up vacation time at your job or need to get away from the stress of running your business every day? Then don’t look at taking a trip 8 months from now. Make plans, get your passport in order and book a trip to somewhere historical or exotic as quickly and feasibly as possible. Venice, Paris, London, Rome, Rio de Janeiro, Barbados, or wherever you could hardly picture yourself a month (or even a couple of weeks from now). Be spontaneous and enjoy the serendipity of the experience. While some may be more expensive than others, there are always deals to be had where travel is involved. Search them out and enjoy the freedom of getting away from it all.
 
In the modern world we live in, it feels like we are actually wired in to networks of social media, online acquaintances, meetings, and obligations. In this time of being always “plugged in” and virtually “in touch” via smartphones, tablets, laptops, and now even in our cars. The need to go “off the grid” is almost a necessity from time to time. For those of us who can remember the 1980’s and before, we know the feeling of being unplugged. No Facebook, no Twitter, no email, no internet, no cell phones, and no texting. It was a time when the only ways to get in touch with someone was to call them on their landline phone at home, send mail delivered by the good ole’ postal service. Of course there was always the option of walking, driving, or flying to wherever someone was to talk to them face to face. A time when you literally knew everyone that you called friends. Unplugged was the way of life back then. I am not saying that this was better or worse than the times we live in now. But what I am saying was that it was much easier to “unplug”.
 
I say all this to point out that if you are investing in a vacation, then you want to take a real one. It is a good idea to consider taking your vacation “unplugged”. Sure, you can take that smart phone along but leave it turned off. That’s right I said OFF! More so, leave it in the room, RV, or wherever you are staying while on vacation. If you absolutely must, turn it on for a few minutes when you get back from enjoying your day and/or night just to see if there were any emergencies then turn it right back off. No checking Facebook, email, or any other distracting social media. Believe it or not, you are not so important that the world cannot survive without you for a week or so. In fact, the human race survived without all the modern communication tech up to the 1980’s and you can survive without it now. The first day or so doing this feel strange, after all it is a part of our modern lives. But, you will get used to it quickly and experience the freedom of enjoying yourself without distractions.
 
Remember that they still make cameras that aren’t built in to cell phones if you want to take pictures or video. Without online connectivity you do not feel obligated to immediately share your experiences. You can update your social media and let everyone know then about the awesome vacation you had instead of missing out on an experience trying to post about it at the same time. A vacation is a time to rest, recharge yourself, gain experiences, and make memories. If you are not enjoying it and living in the moment, then what is the point of taking a vacation? ‘Nuff said?

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Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut (Part III)

Is life running a bit to smooth and became boring? It might be time to shake things up a little and do something unusual.

 
Do Something Different 
 
Has there always been something in the back of your mind that you have always wanted to do but you never had the time? Make the time now! Pick up that guitar that has been sitting in the closet for the past few years and learn how to play it. If you were good at it in the past, learn something completely different to what you usually play. If you are a rocker, try learning classical or jazz. If you played mellow music, break out some Zeppelin or some other classic rock with huge licks and solos. Learn new skills like public speaking, programming, or something else that you love. Find that car you always wanted as a teen and restore it yourself. Learn to make furniture, build musical instruments, or take up art. In the times we live in there are many online courses and lessons, both free and paid. Why not kill two birds with one stone? Learn a skill that can become a great side hustle and make an extra stream of income. If app building, website design, voice-over work, or graphic design are in your skill set; there are plenty of online services that are looking for talented freelancers. Try Fiverr, PeoplePerHour, Guru and Freelancer to market your services through. The point is that no matter what new skill you choose to learn, you are learning. You are expanding your mind, keeping things fresh and creating new experiences. The fact is that the more you know how to do, the more versatile you become. Not only that, by learning & gaining knowledge you feel better about yourself and that leads to… you guessed it, more to be happy about.
 
Commit To Making Your Relationships Even Better By Learning Better Life Skills.
 
Relationship skills is among the most important skill sets we can acquire. Many people allow themselves to be come involved in relationships because of random circumstances that bring them together, Sometimes this can generate life-long relationships while others start with a bang and quickly fade into oblivion. By being more selective in who we become involved with and why, we can generate stronger, deeper relationships. Great relationships take time and time is our most precious commodity. If we are going to give our time, and in return ask the time of another person to create a relationship with strong foundations, it makes good sense to be discerning in our evaluation of what value this relationship provides for you as well as them. A strong relationship has to be a win/win for both of the people involved is a relationship is to last. Having less, close relationships that are an inch wide but a mile deep are far more rewarding that having many “so-called” friendships that have no real depth and quality.
 
This is where it gets to be intense. What can generate more intense feelings than the relationships that we involve ourselves in? Relationships are responsible for the highest feelings of elation and the greatest depths of pain that a soul can experience. When our relationships are going well, we experience great communication, comfort, joy, support, love, and the feeling of emotional bliss. Yet, when things aren’t going so well, we experience the pain and a whole array of negative emotions. For example, when your connection to someone begins to deteriorate, or worst yet you lose someone dear to you; does grief lead you to feel sadness, depression, anger, separation, anxiety or guilt? This may be because you feel that you have unresolved issues or feelings you have not expressed.
 
Considering the importance we place on the relationships that we involve ourselves in, doesn’t it make since to invest our time, effort, and interest into making them the best they can be? Relationships are like our work in a sense. We invest time in educating ourselves and putting real effort into being the best we can be in what we do if you want to be successful. Yet often, in our relationships, we only put any real effort in at the beginning in trying to woo and win new friends and even our mate. Once the thrill of getting involved in a new relationship passes and the hormones settle down we relegate of efforts into only maintaining that relationship.
 
How about instead of only maintaining our relationships, we work to consistantly improve and renew them. Put real and measureable effort into learning and implementing what you need to do in your part of a relationship to make a good one great. Like anything else that involves skills, there are many proven resources in the form of books, audio, and video that can teach you what you need to know to make your relationships, both personal & professional, stronger, deeper and more resilient.
 
Take the time to have deeper conversations daily and spend less time making small talk. Dedicate more time listening to and taking in what your co-worker, friend, family member, or mate has to say. Remember the old adage that “we have two ears and one mouth”, there is a reason for that. Do not try to compete in speaking or getting your point across. Relationships are not about competition, it is about the bonds you create. Working to deepen your relationships and creating bonds that are difficult to break will yield more rewards than you can ever imagine. Having strong and healthy relationships make us feel better about ourselves. It strengthens our self-confidence and our feelings of belonging. Simply put, having solid, quality relationships makes us happy. Isn’t happiness in life what we are after?

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Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut (Part II)

Welcome back to the second part of our article series on Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut. Often in the journey of life we can find ourselves in circumstances and situations that we never intended to be in. What you need to know if you find yourself feeling stuck is that you have the power within you to change your paradigm for the better.

Did you wind up in a job that you dislike or that is not what you wanted to do?

  • Don’t settle for work that does not inspire, motivate, and challenge you.
  • Immediately start researching to find the job you want or create a business that you can’t wait to start every day. My personal recommendation for two of the best resources to help you is Dan Miller’s books “48 Days to The Work You Love” and “No More Mondays”. If you are serious about finding or creating work that you love and following through with action, these are powerful resources that can turn your life around and have you “Whistling While You Work”.

Are you not happy and fulfilled?

  • The first thing you have to do is realize that you are in control of how you feel, not others.
  • Do not make the mistake of comparing yourself to others or what you have vs. what others have. The world’s happiest people do not tie their happiness to possessions or wealth. They achieve fulfillment and happiness by building deep connections with others and having love in their life. You may ask, “What if I have not found someone that loves me”? It is a great misconception when you feel that love has to find you in order for you to be happy. You can’t control how others feel about you, but you can control what you do to bring love into your life. Be proactive by loving others first and you will attract what you give. Always remember. Like attracts like!
  • Volunteer
  • Show your love for your fellow man or woman by helping build a house for a family, help out a local food bank or at a homeless shelter. It is not so important what you do as long as it is helping others who are less fortunate than you.
  • Help a friend
  • Instead of avoiding that friend that has a move coming up, be the first one to offer to help. You never know who you may meet along the way by putting yourself into a different situation. Worst case, you may be surprised the amount of your stuff you get back that your buddy has “borrowed” over the years. Share the love and be a real friend!
  • Be Charitable
  • Make giving more that you expect to receive back a part of your life. Make a regular donation to a worthy charity. If you are single and don’t have children, pretend you are a parent at Christmas time. Go Christmas shopping for your “child” by buying a nice coat, a suit or two of clothes, or several toys that your little boy or girl would love. Check out and stop by the “Toys For Tots” donation barrel and drop your gifts in “Santa’s gift bag” for delivery. If one is not available, then find your local children’s hospital, orphanage, or church. Give them a call and ask if you can come by for a little while and play “Santa’s Helper” yourself for one or more children or if they could recommend a family that you can make Christmas a little more special for. Or, if you know a family in need that you could buy all the food for a nice holiday meal and drop it off to them. Any way you do it, you can almost always spare something for those who need it. The best part is that while you may not feel that money as it sits in your wallet you WILL feel it in your heart when it makes a real difference in someone’s life.

Please join me again for our next article in this series on Five Ways To Get Out Of A Life Rut when I talk about what to do if your life has become a little stale and boring.

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